Long ago and far away, there was a real big, fat, mean snack-cake who wanted a daughter. He couldn’t have one of his own, because the girls all hated his guts and threw up when they saw him. So, he decided to adopt a little girl to be his daughter.

He went to the adoption agency, and they made him lick the Twenty-Third Amendment. They thought he had a yucky tongue, so they wouldn’t give him their approval. He got mad and hit the secretaries with twigs and called a compensation. They thought he was crazy, because he was. They stuck their tongues out at him and sent him to some conversation conventions. He didn’t like them, so he went home. Then he decided to create his own daughter.

As he was building her framework, she started to recite the preamble to the Constitution. He threw up on her and then finished building her.

After a while, the snack-cake sent his new daughter to school. Her principals thought she smelled like the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, so they threw their fat in her face and threw forks at her. Then she cried. The head principal felt sorry for her, but he didn’t care, so he slapped her. Then she cried again and got possessed by Satan.

She then said, “I am Satan, hear me roar.” Then she burped up spinach all over them, and they died. After that, she went back to normal. The police took her to jail and shot her a lot and a lot and a lot.

After a few months, her father the snack-cake decided it was time to pick her up from school. Her teachers saw him coming and threw up, then they told him what had happened and where she was. He put Jell-O on their feet and left. Then he bailed his daughter out of jail.

When they got home, he called her a provisions sublimated. She said that he was crazy. Then he cut her into little pieces with a spatula. Then he was sad, so he proposed to a cock roach, and it said, “No!”

He was real sad, so he ran around and around and around, until one day he was old, so he died.

The End