Long ago and far away, in a cemetery, soon after the big, ugly snack-cake was buried, a bunch of teachers walked by his tombstone. The snack-cake’s ghost popped out of the ground and said, “Hewo!”

All the teachers barfed at the sight of him, then said, “Hewo!” And they ran away, back to the school where they lived. The snack-cake followed them. He was determined to haunt them to death, because of what they did to his daughter. When he arrived at the school, a beautiful woman came in. She looked at the snack-cake and regurgitated ever so gracefully. Then she asked him to marry her.

Then, out of nowhere, all of the old teachers attacked her, stabbing her to death with forks and spoons, then they ate her. Then, one especially huge teacher let out a humongous belch, killing the other teachers, and she said, “Leave, ghost! It was over eighty years ago that we tortured yer kid! Get over it, dude!” After she said that, the snack-cake stuck his long, slimy, ghostly tongue down her throat—killing her instantly. Then he went back to his grave and rested.