Long ago and far away, in the Land of Stupid, the pickle and the mushroom were playing in the rain. They got hit by lightning 2,988 times, so they decided to get in out of the rain.

When they got to their door, they found that it was locked. So they ran across town to Baker Biscuit’s donut shop. They walked in and saw Baker Biscuit standing behind the counter, looking stupid.

He said, “Hey, guys! Want a donut? We’ve got chocolate roach filling and ten-week-old green donuts, and they’re all chocolate!”

The pickle and the mushroom said, “No, dude!” So Baker Biscuit offered to show them his trophy room. When they got there, they noticed that there were no trophies. They turned around and saw Baker Biscuit locking the door. Then he got an ax off the wall and started chasing them.

Meanwhile, a five-billion-year-old lady came into the shop. She had once been Baker Biscuit’s first grade teacher, eighty years before. She heard the noise in the back room, so she ate all the donuts then ate the door down. She saw Baker Biscuit chasing the two vegetables, so she ate his ax, French kissed him with her long, purple tongue, and gave him an “F”. Then he died.

The pickle and the mushroom thanked the lady. Then she turned herself inside-out and left. Then the pickle and the mushroom went home, and they lived strangely ever after.