Not long ago and not far away, in a big city, Teddy Pig was in a hospital waiting for his wife, Penny, to give birth. He was very nervous and excited. He had never been a father before, and he didn’t know if he could handle it.

While he waited in anticipation, he got a letter from Washington that read:

Dear Teddy Pig,

The White House has been stolen by a big, alien mother ship!

We could have called a real super hero,

but they’re all too busy doing movies,

so we just called you;

we heard you were good.

Love,

Judge Wapner

Teddy knew he had to save the president and the White House, but he didn’t know how he’d do it alone. So, he went to the bad part of town and found an orphan beaver whose parents were killed in a circus by gangsters so that he wanted to devote his life to fighting crime.

Teddy asked the beaver if he would like to help him fight crime. The beaver said, “Oh yes oh yes oh yes! I will be your faithful side-kick, and I will get captured by bad guys, so that you can rescue me and make yourself look good, and I will clean your house with my tongue. But this is just the beginning! Some day I’m going to open my own salon!” Then Teddy asked him if he could fly. The little beaver said, “Oh yes oh yes oh yes! I can fly!” Then he spun his tail around really fast and flew.

When the beaver landed, Teddy said, “Okay, kid, you’ve got the job. So what’s your name?”

The beaver said, “My real name is Theodore, but you can call me Beaver. It’s easier to say!” So the two of them flew into space and landed on the mother ship. There they saw some ugly aliens guarding the White House, so they beat them up. Then they were stopped from taking the White House by a big, ugly dude.

He looked at the two heroes and said, “Well, Teddy Pig, welcome to my ship! I am General Sludge. I’m going to kill you, pal! You killed King Crunchnmunch!”

Then Teddy said, “Well actually my dog killed him.”

Then Sludge said, “Shut up, fool!”

Then Teddy looked at Beaver and said, “Gee, Beave, ya think he’s gonna hit us?” Then Beaver grabbed the White House and flew out the window while the general’s back was turned, and Teddy beat the general up and then flew out the window.

After the White House was back in place, the president gave Teddy and Beaver medals. Then the three of them flew off to see Teddy’s kids get born. When they got there, the nurse showed Teddy his three new boys and three new girls, and they all lived like pigs ever after.