Long ago and far away, in the Land of Stupid, the pickle and the mushroom were being stupid. They were doing lots of weird things. When they ran out of Cheez Whiz, they were very upset!

They couldn’t account for the missing Cheez Whiz, until they realized that they had put it all over their walls. They decided to go buy some more Cheez Whiz. They found some and accidentally forgot to pay for it.

Before they knew it, they were in jail. They were put in the same cell with a big, ugly, hairy man. The man looked at the pickle in a weird sort of way and said, “Hey, sexy, if you really want to astound me, put on a blouse and sit on a boulder, then bounce around the prison boundaries!”

The pickle said, “Hey, are you one of those kinky prison people named Butch?”

The man said, “Yep, and if you really want to make me smile, you and yer friend could get nude, sit on the counter, and sing all the country songs you know about courteous foundation builders who get decapitated by video tapes featuring porno kangaroo movies.”

The pickle and the mushroom said, “No way, José!” So, Butch threw the pickle on the floor and started to pound on his face.

A funny-looking tourist with big eyeballs and a funny mustache came in and dislocated Butch’s shoulder. Then he left.

The pickle made a phone call to his cousin, Mr. Cucumber, to see if he would bail them out. Mr. Cucumber came to jail and bailed the pickle and the mushroom out. Then they all went home—after dumping a bucket of frog mucus on Butch—and they lived strangely ever after.

The End