After the pickle and the mushroom had destroyed the big, bad pizza, a nice, sweet, old lady accused the pickle
of burning her house down. The pickle and the mushroom then shot her, because she was too old. And now, here
is where our story begins.
After the pickle and the mushroom shot the old lady for being too old, she shot milk out of her nose all over
them. Then she beat them up and took them to the king of all the Land of Stupid...King Hairball, the great king
who shot out of a cat’s throat early one October morning. King Hairball said they would have a trial in the morning.
In the meantime, he rounded up witnesses and stuck raisins in the old
lady’s nose for no apparent reason.
The next morning, the honorable Judge Butterball, a big, fat ball of slimy butter,
held court. The pickle and the old lady represented themselves, because they were stupid.
The old lady called her first witness to the stand: the pickle. The old lady said,
“Did you burn my house down and shoot me?”
The pickle said, “Yes,” and then the judge asked for her next witness.
The old lady called Mr. Great Yucky Mud to the stand. She said, “Did the
pickle shoot me?”
The mud said, “Yes.” Then the judge asked for a character witness.
The mushroom went to the stand and said, “He’s neat.”
Then the judge said, “Case dismissed!” When the lady asked why, the
judge said, “Well, didn’t you hear? The pickle’s neat.”
The old lady said, “I want a second opinion on his character.”
Judge Butterball said, “Okay, but first I’ll need a drink.” The old
lady unscrewed her head and poured beer out of her neck. Then she put her head back on. The judge said, “Thank
The old lady said, “Sarite.” Then the judge called in the great onion
witch of the North East. She held a sťance and summoned the ghost of the pickle’s old best friend...the hotdog.
The hotdog said, “He’s neat.” Then he left.
Then Judge Butterball saw the old lady pull a raisin out of her nose, and so he shot
her dead on the spot and said, “Case dismissed, everyone go home!” And so everyone lived strangely ever