One day, Tommy was unzipping his pants by a tree, but the zipper was stuck. “I have to pee now! Help, before I explode!” Tommy said. Then he saw a really old, three-headed lady. He started sucking eggs out of her belly button.

She looked down and said, “Hello, sonny. Don’t do that, please. I just bought this umbrella, and I simply must get home to my cat and eat his hairballs.” But then he realized she was a figment of his imagination. Then he dropped dead at the sight of his naked girlfriend and his Harley Davidson being blown up by George Bush and Dan Quail. Then he woke up and realized that he had wet his best friend Jared’s bed.

Jared came in and shot Tommy in the head. Blood flooded the house, and then three pig people from Saturn invaded the country. Then everyone blew up and was pregnant with nymphs.

The End